I hit the 3000 calorie mark, definitely, consciously.
Can I just say how hard that was? xD I ate it all in (mostly) healthy food, though I did not deprive myself of dessert. But my goodness, seriously… I made the mistake of sleeping in past breakfast time and I had to eat pretty much constantly to make up for it and it just got really boring after awhile. But I did it. And really, I feel good. I feel very… full and a little bloated but not uncomfortable. I also have soooo much energy it’s unbelievable. I’m in a really good mood and part of it has to do with the gorgeous weather I’m sure, but I feel pretty confident and hopeful and peaceful and just… idk. I’ve been able to not give into my triggers and just tried to treat my body right. Gonna post my intake then head to bed.
Weigh-in at the doctor’s tomorrow, which I’m feeling rather nervous about, but you know what? It’s just a number. Really. And I’m not going to let that number dictate how I should care for myself or affect my mood, because I haven’t felt this good in a long time.
Stay strong, peeps out there. You can all recover, bit by bit. :)
13. Do you believe you can ever fully recover from an eating disorder? Explain.
I’m still not really sure. Physically, definitely, there’s so much proof out there, thankfully. But mentally, emotionally? I sure as hell hope so, but I’m not sure. I believe it’s almost impossible to completely destroy those neural pathways that have formed from my ED behaviors, which have become so deeply-ingrained. I think that I can overcome, overpower my ED, almost completely, but I think when the going gets bad, or when something is a major trigger for me, there will always be that small, tiny part, or whisper, that will nag me. I think the most vital part of recovery is knowing how to acknowledge that horrible voice, but how to ignore its suggestions and fight against it. And how to never give into it again.
But, I guess I’ll see. I’m working on it. And it’s only day 2. :) I don’t want to jinx myself, but so far, it’s been pretty okay.